My Friend is a Princess at Disney World

  • Cinderella: Hello!
  • Little Black Girl: Hi! Can I have your autograph?
  • Cinderella: Sure! What is your name?
  • Little Black Girl: Bonqueefa.
  • Cinderella: How do you spell that?
  • Mother: B. o. n. queef-like-a-pussy-fart. a.
Hah. View high resolution

Hah.

Just peed my pants.

This is not nearly as witty as my normal fare.

Because this is not the brilliant mind of Anastas.

DEANNA LURVES JOO AWWWWWWW HAY

Very Busy...

  • Black Family: *Walks in*
  • Old Man: Hello!
  • Father: Hi there.
  • Old Man: I just wanted you folks to know that I voted for Obama, too.
  • Black Family: *Walk out*
  • Me: *Face slap*

It Was a Busy Day in Crazyville...

  • Me: Bye, Sir! Have a nice day!
  • Customer: Fuck you.

This Job Never Ceases to Entertain

  • Customer: What an awful day.
  • Me: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
  • Customer: My house was foreclosed. I saved it, so that was a good thing. But then today, it was condemned, so I lost it again.
  • Me: That's awful, I'm so sorry.
  • Customer: Can I have that two dollar scratch ticket? I'm feeling lucky.

Do I Look Like a Prostitute?

That incredibly awkward moment when a thirtysomething man tries to solicit me for prostitution… 

gloppy

(Reblogged from mylifethroughkristenwiig)

Oh...Again at the Convenience Store

  • Customer: How much for a night?
  • Me: ....
  • Me: ....
  • Me: ....
  • Me: More than you can afford, asshole.

Sometimes…at my job…I’m just like

mylifethroughkristenwiig:

seriously?

(Reblogged from mylifethroughkristenwiig)